I’m incredibly passionate that a wedding is so much more than just an event.

Weddings more and more are dropping the traditional and embracing the emotional. Couple’s seem to put so much more emphasis on what the wedding will feel like instead of just what it will look like. I cannot celebrate this enough.

I feel so lucky to be photographing weddings during this shift. As a photographer most inspired by real emotion and unplanned moments, this has made weddings a complete joy to photograph.

I’ve shot over 250 weddings in my 8 year photography career, so I thought I would give some ideas on how to create space for emotion on your wedding day.

And this is not just emotion “for the photo”. I want to talk about creating space for real emotion - for you to feel, experience, and remember deeply with your partner and your community.

To create real memories you will hold dear all your life.

This matters so much to me: your experience at your wedding. I want to do everything I can to foster this.

Photos are great, and I will be going hard translating all the feeling into imagery for you. But the actual experience matters just as much.

So here are just a few ideas on how to create space for emotion and deep experiences on your wedding day…

1) Make sure to create a timeline with buffer room.

Being rushed is a quick way to start feeling a bit stressed.

Work with your planner and photographer to create a timeline with lots of buffer room just in case things get a little behind.

And if things are running a little late, don’t let it worry you one bit. Truly. I’ll also be keeping and eye on things and will give some prompts and nudges here and there to keep things on time.

Having buffer room scheduled in will help keep you at ease since you know you have plenty of time worked in to the schedule to be flexible with however the day goes.

Best times to schedule in a bit of buffer?

Add an extra half hour for getting ready. Hair and make up can take a bit longer and putting on your wedding attire sometimes needs a few extra steps. This will ensure you have plenty of time in the first part of the day.
45 mins right before the ceremony. Make sure you are scheduled to wrap up photos at this time. This will also allow you to have one more glass of champagne and a moment to relax before the day’s events.

2) Meditate that morning on the idea of being truly present throughout the day.

Your mind has the amazing power to slow down time. Seek moments of quiet presentness in the mind whenever you can.

Use those moments to think about the people around you and the memories you have shared together. Focus on how the lace from your dress feels in your hand. How the champagne tastes. The sound of laughter around you.

Wedding days can go by too fast. Let your mind find focus and take moments of rest in the happenings of the day.

It can also even have a positive effect on the memories you retain from the day. It’s one of those really special days in life - take a moment to soak it in.

Ideas on how to do this…

Meditate that morning with your partner. Or even with your wedding party and family who are getting ready with you. This can start the day on a calm note. (Headspace is a great app for guided meditation)
Set a few alarms throughout the day on your phone (or even on a wedding party member’s phone so you don’t have to have your phone on you) to remind you to take a moment to be fully present. Even just taking 30 seconds to pause and focus on the sounds and smells, or whatever will bring a grounding moment.
Once or twice grab your partner’s hand and stand just outside your reception. Use that moment to take a breath together and look over all of your family and friends.

3) Reading letters from your friends and/or family during getting ready.

Ask your closest family and friends to write you letters for you to read before the day starts. You could also write letters to them and exchange them!

Grab a cup of coffee and read the letters together with your partner in bed that morning. How wonderful to start the day surrounded with words from your loved ones.

For elopements, this is a great way to work in the presence of your community into your day.

Nicole from Junebug Weddings did this with their partner and the photos are just gorgeous from that moment.

Weddings are truly about our community. More and more I see that weddings are so much more focused on the our people rather than just being an event. More like a family reunion. I absolutely love this shift in the industry and can’t celebrate it enough!

4) Do a first look with your parent(s) or close family member.

Ask your photographer to set up a first look with one or both of your parents, or any family member you are really close to. It another way to bring a moment of reflection with someone really special to you.

Make sure it is private so that you can share a quiet moment together. You could even have your photographer deliver a letter to them to read right before seeing you in your wedding attire for the first time.

Just writing about this moment makes me tear up a bit, it can be so incredibly special.

5) Take a few moments with your spouse right after the ceremony.

Let your photographer know you would like to spend a couple minutes with your partner right after the ceremony.

They can find a private spot to lead you to so you can have a few minutes alone together to rest in the fact that you are married! Your photographer can also hang a bit at a distance but still capture the moment between you too.

I absolutely love this time right after the ceremony, some of my favorite photos come from it. Above is a shot of Emma + Brendan right after their ceremony.

6) Spend a bit of time (or the whole time) at your cocktail hour.

This is where I see the best tackle hugs happen. This is best set up with having a first look and finishing most of the photos before the ceremony so you can enjoy a large part of cocktail hour.

Simply have your DJ or MC do a fun announcement of you both entering cocktail hour. Or go for a more relaxed entrance with no announcement. Just depending on what is a fit for you!

If you are doing some of your portraits after the ceremony, I would suggest considering a 90 minute cocktail hour. As long as there are drinks and snacks, your guests will be happy. That will allow you and your guests even more time to relax together before heading to the slightly more formal dinner time.

Often your guests aren’t expecting to see you until dinner so they will be pleasantly surprised. This also gives you another opportunity during the post-ceremony events to spend time with your guests.

7) Music matters.

Full day weddings tend to do this well, but the effect of music is often overlooked for elopements. It is also something that can be a really amazing to use during portrait time.

I actually bring a speaker and playlist with me during weddings and elopements for those times when music can add a little something to the experience.

Portraits are one of the times during the day when you get to spend time alone with your partner. I recognize this and want to foster that time you have together.

Want to make it even more personal? Feel free to create a playlist on Spotify and send it to me to play during our portrait time. I’ll have it downloaded and ready to go.